When seasons change, we sometimes expect to keep blooming. We forget that it may be our time to rest. Waiting is uncomfortable, because we don’t see anything happening. We want results, and we want it now. But the season of change and waiting bring a blessing – a realization of our true calling.
After I changed my surname a few years back, I didn’t realize that the uprooting from the familiar called for a sense of adapting to the new. It was a challenge to want to meet unwritten expectations, many of which were self-imposed, maybe. In my journey of change, I have lost myself little by little. And along with giving up the things I love doing, I lost all sense of purpose and hope. I slowly buried myself deeper and deeper until the light was a rare sight.
After months of struggle, that ray of light finally appeared again. It was a time of watering, growing and pruning. And it was also a time when I held on to God and His Word, tighter than ever. Slowly, I realized that there was no need to lose myself in the first place. The Lord has placed a specific calling that matches my unique design.
When others have turned into a plantita, I enjoyed watching kids watering their plants, and observing how they grow.
Others found joy in cuddling their pets. I took delight in listening to kids talk about their dogs, cats, and rabbits.
Some enjoy beach bumming or hiking. I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the birds chirping outside our window.
Most people go out with their barkada from high school or college. I enjoy random chats with friends I make from different places. Some are simple hi’s and hello’s, some are long conversations about life.
People relax by watching TV, playing, cooking, baking, and doing all sorts of hobbies. I feel most refreshed when I talk to people, when I teach, write, share what I know, listen, learn, and read what they have to say. Well, maybe add Kdrama and a bit of K-pop to the list… and dancing!
I used to feel inferior for being different. I thought there was something wrong because I am not like most of them. But in a recent conversation with someone I love, when I said, I don’t like this and that, and I don’t do these things. He lovingly added, “and that’s okay.” Maybe sometimes, all we need is that – that it’s okay to be different. That it’s okay to not like what others enjoy, and there is nothing wrong with it.
I am glad to say that in the ocean of overwhelming expectations, God sends people to tell us that we are being used right where we are. Our giftings, our circumstances, and even our flaws and weaknesses are purposefully placed by the Master.
And this is the blessing of my waiting season – I have found my true calling, that is in being who He designed me to be – to learn, to teach, to share, and to love the little ones He has allowed me to cross paths with, until He gives us our own to shower with love. And I hope you find yours as well.
When a Teacher Writes 